Bone

Monday, March 20, 2006

Crap.

You know how they say bad things always come in threes.

You also know how they say "No rest for the weary."

I've a new one...Crap.

Here's an annotation to my list of assumptions from a few months back. If you happen to be fortunate enough to own more than one car, people will assume a) you are loaded and b) you have, like, twelve cars. I know this latter to be the case because my students always tell me I have twelve cars. I drive the Mouse to work 90% of the time, and then I drive the Dragon for some special requirement, like taking a bunch of rented gear back to Modern Music, which is theoretically on my way home, and all hell breaks loose. Everybody knows the Dragon; it sticks out in this parking lot full of teachers' Accords, Camrys, and minivans; as well as students' Matrixes (Matrices?) Neons, Focuses (Foci?) BMW's, and Acuras like a nipple ring on a pit bull. Therefore everybody knows when I've driven the grand old beast to work, and invariably a student will ask me, usually right before we begin class with prayer, "Like, how many cars do you have? Like, twelve?"

Well, my dad always told me that if you live far away from work and, if you have the means, you should have two cars. And I do. And, of course, they're both complete pieces of shit. And, all the more ironically, they're both broke. The Civic's back in the shop with an unknown transmission noise after $1200 worth of clutch transplant and assorted sundries. Of course, while returning from the local Auto Zone to buy a replacement headlight for a student, the Dragon decides to ingest a part of the coolant send to the heater core. I come flying into the St. Francis parking lot in a cloud of sickly-sweet-smelling steam, and of course I manage to do it just as Ms. Brady's theatre class are getting on the bus for Carmen.

I'm less concerned with how I'll get home than I am about looking like a nincompoop in front of people from whom I am trying to earn respect.

Crap.

Well, it's off to find a roll of duct tape. If you hear from me again, you'll know I got home okay.